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You’re the book I’ve halfway read

I’ll have something tomorrow from the trenches of Orestes Auditions Prime, but for tonight some self-indulgence.

A year ago at this time I was sitting down to write my wedding vows. I had plenty of time – “the wedding isn’t until 6 tomorrow, and what could possibly come up”? And there’s no way I’d get writers block – I’d been composing them in my head for 3 years. And who gets tired after a week of celebrating your own awesomeness?

I finished at 4AM and spell checked it when I was gangtackled awake by my best man Erik’s children the next morning.

And of course it was perfect.
It was by far the best show I’ve been a part of. Perfectly cast top to bottom and the performances were spot on.
(Here are the vows for the ladies out there)

We are strong

But I’m not here to heap praise on our wedding, despite the fact that it was 3 times better than yours. I want to talk about my wife.

See, I found the perfect partner for me. Everything I have been able to do in Austin is because of her. And that’s not some snarky joke on how she dragged me here.

She sold me out to the ArtSpark team that led me to Will. Her ideas around design driven performance pushed me to actually start Cambiare Productions, because there was nowhere else in town for her to go to get something like that done.

The aesthetic that I strive for in our shows is one that she showed me that I love. Her passion for installation and performance art keeps me from settling in a narrative cave and staying there.

That’s not to say it’s not hard. We’ve spent seasons apart as she follows the work, and as I head into auditions for Orestes tomorrow, she’s in rehearsal for Black Snow tonight. And so it goes.

There’s little time for one to fully support the other, because both our feet are moving. “I only have 7 dimmers!”, “Yeah well my costume designer just dropped out and we’re trying a much more difficult mask idea”, “Well MINE’S in RUSSIAN”…  It’s not. And we’ve never had that ACTUAL exchange, but we’ve had similar. And if not out loud, in our brains.

And you know how sometimes you don’t read my posts because they’re long and sort of rambly? Imagine you’re stuck in the kitchen cooking dinner while I verbally write drafts of them.


And she’s never hit me with a cast iron pan.
Not once. It all works because we both REALLY want to be in this relationship, and we’ve never been deluded enough to think it wasn’t going to be work. And that understanding combined with an awful lot of patience on her part covers a multitude of sins.

I can’t imagine doing any of this without her, even when she thinks I’m ignoring her, and if this is the first year of marriage the next eighty are going to be incredible.

From “The Irrational Season”
Madeleine L’Engle

“Ultimately there comes a time when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take.

It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created. To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation.

It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling.”